Surviving the Holidays: How to Create Joy Without Losing Your Mind

The holidays used to feel like pure magic when I was a kid—all joy, connection, and celebration. But now, as a mom? It’s a completely different story. The magic doesn’t just happen on its own anymore. I’m the memory keeper, the magic maker, and honestly… it’s a lot.

While the holidays bring moments of connection and fun, they also come with a heavy dose of longing, grief, and stress. Everything seems amplified—the good, the bad, and the overwhelming pressure to make it all perfect.

Wearing Too Many Hats During the Holidays

Mom. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Therapist. Entrepreneur. Matriarch-in-training. Holiday magic-maker-extraordinaire.

I wear a lot of hats, and during the holidays, it feels like I’m supposed to juggle them all—flawlessly. There’s this unrelenting expectation to make everything magical: cooking, shopping, wrapping, decorating, hosting, and still somehow staying present.

I vividly remember one Christmas morning when I woke up and, instead of feeling excitement, I felt… relieved. Relieved it was almost over. I was exhausted, burnt out, and completely done—done trying to make everything perfect, done caretaking, done memory-making, done giving.

That was my wake-up call. Something had to change.

A Hard Reset: Taking Back the Holidays

That year, we made a big change. I decided: We’re staying home for Christmas. No more dragging our child from house to house, trying to make everyone else happy. It wasn’t easy to tell family, and there were definitely moments of guilt and some hurt feelings. But ultimately? It was worth it.

We also pulled the plug on over-the-top gift-giving. We set boundaries around how much we’d spend and chose to focus on simple, meaningful moments instead.

Blending Families During the Holidays

Being in a blended family added a whole new layer of holiday chaos. Early on, I felt an intense pressure to make everything “equal” for all the kids and somehow merge two families’ traditions into one seamless celebration. Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.

Eventually, I realized the goal wasn’t to make things perfect—it was to make them meaningful. My partner and I intentionally chose which traditions to keep and created new ones together. What matters most is that everyone feels loved and included, not that every stocking has the exact same number of items or that every tradition gets checked off the list.

What I’ve Learned After 12 Years of Holiday Seasons as a Mom

Here’s the truth: My kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a present mom. They need someone who shows them it’s okay to let go of plans that don’t work out, who apologizes when she messes up, and who creates space for real connection.

They don’t need all the things. They need the moments—laughing over burnt cookies, cuddling on the couch, or watching the lights on the tree together. Those are the memories that matter.

My Wish for You This Holiday Season

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the holidays, I want you to know: It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to let go of the things that don’t bring you joy. It’s okay to make the holidays work for you, not just for everyone else.

Give yourself permission to find peace and joy in this season. Create the memories, yes—but don’t forget to be part of them, too.

If you’re ready to reclaim your holidays and ditch the overwhelm, check out our Surviving the Holidays Without Losing Your Sh*t audio course. It’s packed with practical tips and heartfelt guidance to help you navigate the season with ease and intention. Click here to learn more and start your journey to a calmer holiday season.

Sending you love and a little less pressure this holiday season,

Nichole